Writer Fears
Hello readers, Thank you for popping by. Today, I am going to be a little self-indulgent and talk about my fears as a writer.
I was raised by a family of workaholics. I know that doesn’t sound that bad, but when everyone defines themselves by the work they do and the fruits of their labor, you become disappointed by how intangible your fruits are. So, I become ashamed that I have dedicated myself to the pursuit of writing. All my life, careers in the arts were frowned upon because it was seen as too luck-based. You couldn’t just work hard enough and succeed. That idea of working hard enough and succeeding has fallen to the wayside for me just looking at the current status of the world.
I still feel weird when I admit to loving comic books and nerdy stuff or that I want to be a writer because those things were always looked down on. I need to be the one to make the change and stop being ashamed of what I love.
The bigger thing I’m afraid of is that by pursuing this, I am indulging passion when the world needs something more from me. How does my being a writer help the causes I wish to support? How does writing about the climate crisis help end it? What are the symbols I’m using to combat conservatives? Should I not have decided to become a politician, scientist, or something anything but a person who wants to write young adult novels and comic books? To that, I say to myself that we need activist young adult novelists and comic book writers to promote these ideas so they will be more widespread so that children can see that there is hope and that there is a future worth fighting for. That there are writers and creators who believe in their rights and will fight for them.
That still doesn’t always comfort me, but I have to hope that it is true that writing the words that I write makes the world in which I want to exist a little bit closer.
Stay tuned for Wednesday when I finally publish the next journal entry for Johnathan Altman.